Ritual #6
Find Another Publisher
Lammas
1 August 2005
Lammas is the first of the three Harvest festivals. The first fruits of the annual harvest are reaped, and the days grow shorter. This Lammas, I felt that my harvest had been stolen. My book, Urban Tantra, was due to be published by Cleis Press in May, 2005. By now, I should have had a stack of books in my house, a book launch party, interviews with media, workshops scheduled to promote the book and even my first royalty statement. Instead, I am arranging to have the book published by another publisher. What happened?
In January 2005, my editor at Cleis Press, told me that she had edited the final draft of my book and that she was sending it back to me for some clarifications and additions. She said that the changes she wanted from me were small, so she had sent the book out to be copyedited first, so as to speed up the publication process. Unfortunately, this editor neglected to mention the sweeping changes she had made to my book in the editing process. When I received the manuscript and began to read it, I was devastated. She had edited out all the context and meaning. Her version of my book was a boring, bland, mediocre-to-bad, how-to sex guide. This was a hateful, hurtful betrayal.
I withdrew my book from publication. My agent and I are actively seeking a new publisher. This process is taking longer than I had hoped, but I was---and still am---satisfied with my decision. I would rather the book never be published than be published in Cleis Press’ eviscerated version.
I continue to try and make peace with what has happened. However, on this Lammas holiday, I am still haunted by the memory of the butchered version of my book and the cruel betrayal by a publisher I trusted. If I am to have a harvest later this fall (i.e., a contract with a new publisher), I have to make peace with the loss of this harvest now.
Last month, in conversation with Linda Montano, I realized that my feelings about my book betrayal were similar to her feelings about her betrayal by (i.e. firing from) the University of Texas in Austin. In her wonderful new book, Letters From Linda M. Montano, Linda published a “purification chant” she wrote called “Yankee Go Home”. The piece reflects what Linda thought the university folks thought about her. Linda and I started to improvise a parody of “Yankee Go Home” called “Find Another Publisher.” It felt so good that I knew I had to finish it as my Lammas performance ritual. My intention in doing this ritual is to allow the soil (my psyche) to release the toxins of this publishing nightmare and to plant a new crop of positive feelings that I may harvest as a published book later this fall.
Find Another Publisher
Take your death-obsessed 7th chakra, your Osho meditations with all that shaking, yelling and gyrating, your fantasies of an erotic life (whatever that means), and FIND ANOTHER PUBLISHER.
Take your sex-as-energy garbage, your sex-is-more-than-fucking silliness, your aging hippieness, your obsession with solo sex, your preachy affirmations, and FIND ANOTHER PUBLISHER.
Take your insane drivel about sex for world peace, your trance-fueled fantasies, your preoccupation with your phony after-death experiences, your insane visions of meeting dead people in post-orgasmic trance and FIND ANOTHER PUBLISHER.
Take your refusal to put orgasm in the book’s first chapter, your insistence that yin/yang is not about gender, your fantasies of tattoo orgasms, your insistence that good came out of the AIDS crisis, your alienating, anti-sexual fantasy stance, and FIND ANOTHER PUBLISHER.
Take your annoying addiction to finding a meaning greater than pleasure in sex, your refusal to understand that the only thing readers want in sex guides is sex, your excessive gushings of gratitude to colleagues and teachers, your politically incorrect observations of sex work and porn, and FIND ANOTHER PUBLISHER.
Take your insistence on quoting from ancient Tantric texts, your use of Sanskrit words, your declaration that sex is not the only way to have bliss, your refusal to relate everything back to sex, your assumption that you know more about people who want to learn Tantra than Cleis does, and FIND ANOTHER PUBLISHER.
Take your use of dated phrases like Ram Dass’ “Be Here Now”, your use of unnecessary and irrelevant quotes from the Buddha, your use of platitudes such as “Make no judgments, no comparisons and delete your need to understand,” your esoteric dissertation on the chakras, your overemphasis on spirituality in Tantra, and FIND ANOTHER PUBLISHER.
Take your unnecessary personal anecdotes, your use of annoyingly clever chapter titles, your scary discussion of safer sex, your insistence that sex parties are different from sex workshops, your refusal to accept that our target reader is a naive, frightened, sexually inexperienced childlike waif with a low I.Q., and---again---your insane assumption that anyone reading a sex guide would be interested in anything more than sex, sex, sex. FIND ANOTHER PUBLISHER.
FIND ANOTHER PUBLISHER.
FIND ANOTHER PUBLISHER.
FIND ANOTHER PUBLISHER.PUBLISHER.
PUBLISHER.
PUBLISH HER.
PUBLISH HER.
PUBLISH HER!
We’d love to! We love the power and depth of your discussion of the 7th chakra, your mind and body-liberating Osho meditations, and your visions of an erotic life (tell us more!). WE’D LOVE TO PUBLISH YOU!
We love your take on sex-as-energy and sex-is-more-than-fucking, your ageless optimism, your devotion to solo sex, and your clever and powerful affirmations. WE’D LOVE TO PUBLISH YOU!
We love how you use sex to help achieve world peace, your visions, the courage you’ve shown in your after death experiences, and your amazing meetings with nonphysical entities in post-orgasmic trance. PLEASE LET US PUBLISH YOU.
We agree that erotic massage belongs in the chapter “Tantra for Two”, that yin/yang is not about gender, that lots of good came out of the AIDS crisis, that fantasies---while fun occasionally---do not have a place in your discussion of conscious sex. We particularly love your story of a 7-orgasm tattoo. PLEASE LET US PUBLISH YOU.
We love how you’ve found meaning in addition to pleasure in sex. We love your understanding that readers want more than sex in a Tantra book, your effusive expressions of gratitude to colleagues and teachers, and your honest and irreverent observations of sex work and porn. WE SIMPLY MUST PUBLISH THIS.
We agree on your use of quotes from ancient Tantric texts, your occasional use of Sanskrit, your declaration that sex is not the only way to have bliss, your refusal to relate everything back to sex, and we know that you know more about people who want to learn Tantra than we do. WE WOULD SO LOVE TO PUBLISH THIS.
We love your quotes from Ram Dass, the Buddha and, your use of timeless statements such as “Make no judgments, no comparisons and delete your need to understand,” your incredibly astute and detailed description of the chakras, and your emphasis on spirituality in Tantra. WE SIMPLY MUST PUBLISH THIS.
We love your moving personal anecdotes, your clever chapter titles, your honest and motivating discussion of safer sex, your awareness that sex parties are different from sex workshops, your understanding that our target reader is an intelligent, courageous, spiritual and sexual seeker and--again---your understanding that anyone reading a Tantra book is interested in much more than sex, sex, sex. WE ARE PUBLISHING THIS BOOK IMMEDIATELY!
And so they did. Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex For the Twenty-First Century will be published by Celestial Arts in April 2007.
Yule/21 December 2004 Candlemas/2 February 2005 Spring/Autumn Equinox/20 March 2005 Beltane/1 May 2005 Summer Solstice/21 June 2005 Lammas 2005